


I’m With You

by BabyCyclopes



Series: It’s Okay To Not BE Okay [1]
Category: Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alex is having a bad day, Cross Posted on Fanfiction.net, Dorks in Love, F/M, First Date, Gender Fluid Character, Gender dysforia, M/M, Magnus has Sensory processing disorder, Magnus is having a bad day, Trans Female Character, Trigger warning transphobia, post The Ship of the Dead, trigger warning child abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-24
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-01-22 13:34:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12482804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BabyCyclopes/pseuds/BabyCyclopes
Summary: Magnus was determined for his first date with Alex Fierro to be as amazing as falafel and it would've been if he wasn't having a bad day. TW transphobia/child abuse in ch 2.





	1. Magnus

Magnus sat on the steps that lead up to the roof watching the last of the fireworks and thankful that the glass dome doled some of the noises.

He’d come inside to get away from the noise and people that had become too much for him. (Leaving Blitz and Hearth to entertain the kids).

It was amazing he’d lasted as long as he did because usually he would’ve gone inside before the fireworks started. But since they were having a party for their first guests at the Chase Space and the fact that Alex was there, (were the only reasons Magnus forced himself to stay).

So when Alex had excuse herself to go to the bathroom: he’d taken his chance to get some relief. 

His thoughts drifted to Alex: her citrusy sent, the way her smile could light up a room, how his heart skipped several beats every time he thought about the two kisses they shared, how her fingers seemed to fit perfectly in the spaces between his own, how her hands were the same size as his, and what had it meant that she’d held his hand and had he been right in thinking she was ready to give dating him a try?

As if his thoughts had summoned her, Alex sat down on the step below him, angling her body to face him. 

“waiting for someone, Chase?” She question with a coy smile.

His blushing face was the only answer, but before she could tease him he opened his mouth, “A-Actually I-I wanted to ask you something?” He stuttered out, causing his face to go even redder.

“Okay, then ask me.” She crossed her arms over her chest, a smirk on thoughs perfect lips of her’s. He thought about closing the distance between them, but he had an important question to ask.

And besides there’d be plenty of time for kissing later. He thought hopefully.

Magnus reluctantly looked away from her lips and up at her eyes. He try’d not to get lost in her heterochrome eyes that in the dim lighting were the colors of butterscotch and honey. They caused his heart to skip a beat.

He failed.

“ Maggie, you’re staring.” She noted that smirk still dancing on her lips.

“Will you go on a date with me?” He blurted, before he could get even more distracted or declared his love for her again.

Alex just stared at him: a look of disbelief across her beautiful face. 

 

He felt panicked bloom through him.

Maybe I interpreted everything wrong? Maybe she doesn’t actually like me? Maybe this was all in my head or some kinda elaborate dream? 

His panicked thoughts were cut off by Alex saying softly, “Yes.”

“Wh-what?” Now he was the one in disbelief.

“yes, I’ll go on a date with you.” Alex answered fermly with a grin on her face that stretched ear to ear. 

SHE SAID YES! Magnus could’ve shout it across the rooftops because that was how ecstatic Alex Fierro made him, but instead he kissed her. 

 

The next day Alex and Magnus were in a taxi on the way to IHOP. 

Magnus was determined for his first date with Alex Fierro to be as amazing as falafel.  
He had woken up at 6:00 A.M. And got dressed, despite the fact that their date wasn’t until the evening Because he wanted everything to be perfect. 

And it would’ve been if Magnus wasn’t having a bad day…

He had to change his clothes five times because he hated the way they felt on his skin, they were all either too scratchy, too thick, or too tight across his chest. He finally settled on a loose red T-shirt and jeans.

Being squished between Alex and a stranger in the backseat of a taxi just made things worse… 

He was hyper aware of their bodies pressed on either side of him, of their hip bones digging into his, the waves of body heat pouring off them...

He tried leaning forward, pulling his arms in close to his body, but the seatbelt doug painfully into his chest making it hard for him to breve.

“Are you OKay?” Alex wondered his voice filled with concern, (Alex was male today).

Magnus hated his brain for not being able to filter sensory input like most people’s brain could! He couldn’t even handle his hair touching the back of his neck, so he had to put it in a ponytail. 

He’d been dreading actually going to the restaurant because of all the people and now he definitely didn’t think he could handle it!

“No.” He mumbled to Alex.  
“PULL OVER!” He demanded of the driver and she did as he asked.

As soon as the car was on the shoulder: Magnus scrambled over the stranger and out of the car. 

“Are you going to puke?” The concern in Alex’s voice intensified and he came around to Magnus’s side.

“No.” 

He relish in the summer air and began to fidget with Jack’s chain: the repetitive motion of twisting it and the combination of Jack’s study warmth against his chest helped him to focus and calm down.

“What’s wrong, Maggie?” His voice was soft and gentle prompting Magnus  
to look at him. He took in Alex’s green vest, pink bowtie, rose colored jeans and high tops, and the nervous way he ran a hand through his green hair. 

He took his breath away and as much as he wanted to just keep staring at the handsomeness that was Alex Fierro, he did owe him an explanation.

“I can’t handle people or things touching me and some noises are very overwhelming. And I’m having a bad day, so I don’t think I can handle going out to dinner.” By the end of this Magnus was crying.

“ I understand.” Alex reassured.

“Your not mad?” Magnus snift, “ but I ruined our date!” 

“No!” He denied, “ I would’ve been happy just reading books together in our pajamas just as long as I’m with you.”

“That does sound nice.” Magnus agree. “We can go to IHOP another time.” Magnus said wiping his tears. 

“i’m holding you to that, Chase.” Alex smiled at him and held out a hand, Magnus took his hand, and they walked back to Valhalla, (where a book and snuggling in their pajamas waited for them).


	2. Alex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus and Alex are book worms and have a heart to heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: This took me way to long, but writing will be able to come much faster now because I have a Braille Display! I will be able to write more often with out straining my eyes or getting migraines! Also if your confused I'm blind and read braille, but I have some sight and I use to type on my Ipad. A Braille Display is this little machine that I can use to read/write braille and connect it to my Ipad/iphone via bluetooth. I can also use it as a stand alone device, so it's called a BrailleNote, but I use it more as a Braille Display.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own!

Relationships were all about compromise, Alex thought as he and Magnus scaned the titles in Valhalla's vast library for something lighthearted to read. 

They each had their favorites from their personal collection, "The Bell Jar" by Sylvia Plath for Alex and Magnus had, "Scott Pilgrim but they wanted to read something romantic, correction Magnus wanted to read something romantic, Alex was fine with the books they already had.

He could tell that Magnus still felt like he’d ruined their date and Alex hoped he wouldn’t regret this, regret Alex. 

He cut off that train of thought before it could spiral out of control and took a deep breath, focusing on the here and now, on the fact that he was holding Magnus Chase’s hand in an empty library. 

The tension had left Magnus as soon as they entered the quiet library and even more so when he saw the sign ‘No killing or maming allowed!’

Alex supposed it was because they didn’t want blood all over the books and for that reason the library wasn’t very popular with the other Einherji. 

Alex breathed in the smell of the old books and felt at home. Libraries were a great place to hide during the winter when he was homeless and even before that books were an escape from his life because it was much easier to fall into someone else’s head, then to think about what was going on in his.

 

“How are we supposed to pick out a book that we both agree on?” Magnus wondered.

“we could make a game out of it“ Alex answered a smirk playing on his lips. 

“Sure, like what?” Magnus shrugged. 

“we could do a race and pick up as many books as we can and who ever makes it to their room first, we read those books tonight. Sound good?” Alex said.

“sounds good.” And then they were off running down the aisles and swiping books off shelves as fast as they could. Alex saw Magnus heading towards the exit, so he shifted into a Cheetah, but this unfortunately caused him to drop his books and trip over them.   
by the time Alex had picked up his books, Magnus was already at the elevator, so he took the stairs two at a time, but by the time he made it to floor 19 Magnus was already at his door. 

“ dammit!” Alex cusssed and Magnus gave him a smirk that made him weak at the knees.

They collapsed on Magnus' floor trying to catch their breath, but laughter kept bubbling up and   
Every time they caught their breath they'd meet eyes and they'd start laughing again. 

They moved to lay on their bellies under the world tree with ‘The Hunger Games" in front of them. 

***

Alex scrubbed off the dry clay on her hands, trying to ignore them shaking.

She splashed icy water on her clammy skin and caught sight of herself in the mirror above the sink..

Her eyes snagged on everything that was male, her jaws too sharp, her forehead and hands too large, her chest too flat.

 

“ you’re not normal!” Her father screamed at her from her nightmare.

“ why can’t you be normal?” He’d demanded, brandishing a fist at her and he’d hit her staining her brand new dress with blood and little Alex cried.

She slammed her fist into the mirror to shut the voice up! 

“Alex?” The voice had her looking up to see Magnus standing there with his blonde hair tangled, his red pajama pants wrinkled, and concern in his gray eyes. 

“Alex?” He repeated, coming into the bathroom and kneeling by her side because at some point she must’ve fallen to her knees. 

She felt very vulnerable and exposed, kneeling there on the bathroom floor in her pink and green pajamas with Magnus' concerned eyes on her.

Why did he have to see her like this? She thought ashamed, her cheeks burn hot. 

It had only been two weeks since their first date and Alex thought it was way too soon for this crap!

 

“ you’re bleeding!” Magnus murmured, reaching out a hand to touch her bloody knuckles. 

“I can heal you, if you want?” He said, hand glowing.

“No,” she refused her voice coming out a little too sharp, "No," she repeated softer. “I don’t even want to be in my own head right now.”

“Okay,” he nodded. "Can I help you clean it at least?” 

“Sure, have at it.” As he picked out the few slivers of glass, Alex watched his face. His expression was calm, accept for the little furrroww between his eyebrows.

“What are you doing up?” She asked, when Magnus was done and putting the first aid kit back under the sink, while she grabbed a broom to start cleaning the glass up.

“Nightmares.” He mumbled, but didn’t elaborate and he helped her clean up the rest of the glass in silence. 

“Thank you, Maggie.” She smiled a shakey smile at him and he returned it with a soft smile that reached his gray eyes.

“No problem.” He turned to leave and Alex felt fear go through her because she did not want to be alone with her own thoughts again. 

“Wait!” She said and he turned around so fast that he almost fell over,“could you stay?” She asked, a blush coloring her cheeks. 

“Yes.” And they pick their way through broken shards of pottery to rest under the world tree. 

“I had a nightmare.” She said, sitting down in the grass and drawing her knees up to her chest because that way she can attempt to ignore the prickly feeling that crawled over her skin. 

(Oh hello, dysphoria my old friend).

Magnus joined her in the grass and they sat quietly for a while, until she can’t take it anymore and had to lay down because sitting there like that was making her hyper aware of her chest. She pulled Magnus down beside her and together they stared up into the tree’s branches and she concentrated on breathing and on Magnus, hand in her own. 

“You okay?” Magnus wondered.

“It’s just dysphoria.” She explained, warmth going through her at his concern.

“ do you want to talk about it?” 

“ which thing?”

“ your nightmare or you’re dysphoria, which ever you feel comfortable talking about.” He squeezed her hand and sent her reassuring smile.

Trust goes both ways, she thought.

she swallowed, swallowed again, “ I had a nightmare about my Father." And she told him how she'd gotten her first dress: it was pink and the skirt flaired out around her. How she'd twirled around and around in front of the mirror, until she was dizzy and fell over laughing. Then she had looked up and saw her father glaring at her, he'd hit her over and over again, blood staining her dress. Then he ripped the dress up, all the while yelling how she was a freak.  
(The worst nightmares were the ones that were memories).  
Magnus squeezed her hand tight, "I'm here, your not alone."

It was silent for several moments and then Magnus spoke, "I had a nightmare about your Father, once.”

“What?” She demanded a jolt of fear going through her and a feeling of intense shock because how could this be possible?

Magnus explained how he’d seen her fight with her father and get thrown out of her house.

She wasn’t entirely sure what to say except, “ thanks for telling me.” She sent him a reinsuring look because he look like he thought she was going to cut his head off. 

“what was your nightmare about?"  
"My Mom.” His voice was choked with emotion.

"I'm here if you want to talk.” She reassured.

“Thank you and I’m here for you always."

She rolled on to her side and leant close, his breath fanning across her face and smelling like cinnamon toothpaste, "want to finish reading ""Mockingjay"?" She asked a smile playing at her lips because Magnus face was so flustered and red.

"Sure." He answered, a flicker of disappointment crossing his face and then it was gone replaced by a small smile. Before he could move to get up she pressed her lips to his, he tasted like chocolate and warm summer nights under the stars. "Thank you for listening."

She murmured when she pulled away.

"Anytime." He said a dreamy smile on his face.

There would be a time when Magnus would talk about his Mom, but for now they both lie on their bellies with their ankles' hooked together and read.


End file.
